follow-up to a rant

This is a follow-up to the last ranty post.  I’ve been wanting to write it for a few days, but I was without my macbook for over a week and I finally have it back (yay!).

I was so aggravated by that HP article that I just fired off a post in haste and missed saying a lot of what I really wanted to say.  I so appreciate the comments.  A special thanks to Matthew for linking back to the post.

It wasn’t so much the actual 20 items themselves that pissed me off so much, but the laziness of the author.  As I mentioned in the comments section, I felt that it was terribly lazy of the author to compile the list that he or she did.  I don’t care if people put together lists – hell, I do it all the time.  But if you are going to publish an article on a major website that is going to have a large readership, then you better do some due diligence and put some effort into it and not produce a piece of doody.  The author did not post his or her name and one commenter on HP suggested that possibly the author was embarrassed to attach their name to something so asinine.  I tend to agree with that.

A better effort could have been made to compile a valid list of things that an unmarried person would not understand.  Such as the feeling of signing your marriage license – elation to marrying your love or dread of entering into a legally binding contract or apathy towards a relationship which has a 50/50 chance of working out.  Or any combination of those.  Those feelings I wouldn’t understand.

But aside from things associated with a wedding or being legally bound to another, I don’t know what there is about marriage that an unmarried, but serious, living together couple wouldn’t understand.  I’d argue that couples living together and/or with children understand what it’s like to be married, without being married.  The everyday, living together stuff – good and bad – is not necessarily reserved for married couples only.   To the married folks out there: what is there about marriage that I totally would not understand?  I’m not trying to be an asshole (at least not now) and I really would like to know.  Please enlighten me.

As for the whole “you would only understand if you’re ___” nonsense…it is usually a load of crap.  I know we’ve all said something similar.  I sure have.  But there’s that old adage about walking in someone else’s shoes that rings true.  You really wouldn’t know unless you walk in that individual’s shoes.

If I were to say, “you would only understand what it’s like being Asian if you’re Asian,” well, no, that’s ridiculous.  I understand my experiences being Asian.  I don’t fully understand the plight of all Asians worldwide.  I couldn’t even begin to completely understand a fraction of what Asians on the other side of the world or even in my apartment building deal with, nor would any of them fully understand what I go through.

Everyone is different with different experiences.  We shouldn’t generalize a population.

Anyway, I just wanted to elaborate beyond the original rant what I thought of the article and its subject matter.


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