mid-week randoms

It’s been a long time, I know.  Perhaps I should start calling these “mid-year randoms”.  I apologize to those who do visit and see nothing new posted.

– Things are kaput with Scott, as of awhile now.  We wound up hanging out one more time after the last post.  I had a bit of a scare that he found my blog and I’m not entirely sure he didn’t (he could be reading this, oops).  I won’t go into details of why I think this, but it was entirely my fault and my stupidity using email on my Macbook.  Anyhoo, the last time we hung out, he had invited me over to watch a movie.  We all know what that is code for.  And this was the 4th date (not that I have a schedule for this kind of thing).  Yeah, you get the picture.  It happened.  I am not going to comment on it.  We kept in touch the week after.  I was still working crazy hours so I was too busy to hang out during the work week.  Then the weekend came along and along with the snowstorm that hit, I also made plans to hang out with friends (whom I hadn’t seen in a while either from working long hours).  Then contact just fizzled and truthfully, I was not upset about that.  The kissing was never going to improve.
– I had a guy email me on OKCupid who I had met a year and a half ago when I was on Match.  We actually went out on a date.  It wasn’t a great date, but wasn’t bad.  Just whatever.  I wasn’t going to respond to his email at first, but then figured what the hell.  I responded and told him that we met before.  He apologized for not remembering details, but after I filled him in a little more, he remembered and then signed off and wished me luck in my search.  Meh.
– There is one guy that I am currently in contact with in those rare moments I sign onto OKC and check messages.  Seems okay so far, but (and there is always a “but”) he lives in Philly.  He works in NYC and commutes back and forth every day.  Holy shit.  I think my 30 min commute sucks some days.  Now I am not sure how the logistics of dating would work should it progress to actually hanging out.  With his living in Philly and my long work hours (still), not sure when we’d be able to hang out.
– Saw FB pics of a fellow blogger’s (you know who you are!) recent trip to Disney for the Disney Princess Half Marathon and let me tell you how jealous I was!  Looked like so much fun!  Now I am thinking that I need to do that next year.
– Finally NYRR is offering a way to get guaranteed entry into the NYC Half that doesn’t involve completing 4 of the 5 borough series races (no offense to outer borough peeps, but hauling ass out there for 7AM races sucks big time for this chicky.  I realize that many many people haul ass into Manhattan for all the Central Park races and I’m spoiled living less than 10 mins from the park.).  The last two Half’s I was not chosen in the lottery.  They are offering guaranteed entry for next year if you volunteer to work this year’s Half.  So, I will be waking my sorry ass up at 4AM this Sunday to do a 5.5 hour shift starting at 5AM.
– I had a *moment* right after I got my taxes done.  No joke, it took about 20 minutes to do my income taxes (both federal and state).  Why so quick?  Because NOTHING in my life is any different from what it was a year ago, or for that matter, from 5 years ago.  And that is why I had a *moment*, that happened to occur while I was at the Columbus Circle subway station waiting to go home.  There I was, standing on the subway platform, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  My life is stalled.  It’s like everyone else’s lives around me are progressing and I am stuck.  Like someone has their hand on my forehead, and is telling me “no no no, not so fast.  Where do you think you’re going?  Step back, ain’t nothing here for you.”  I am in the same rental apartment.  Working at the same job.  I’m still filing taxes as a single person.  I am not claiming any dependents.  Tears sprung to my eyes and I had to keep myself from flinging myself into the path of an oncoming train (seriously, would never do that…I would never fuck up other people’s commutes.  But really, I’m not suicidal, just have a case of the sads).
– There is this mentally unstable woman who walks around the Upper East Side and rides the subways who screams at people and spits on them.  I recently read stories about her terrorizing the ‘hood last summer and told a friend about her.  My friend, who also lives on the UES, and I had never heard about her or seen her before.  Well, tonight I saw her on the street.  She was standing in the doorway to a vacant storefront.  She was doing that gross throat clearing thing and spitting.  Thankfully, she was spitting on the building instead of at people walking past her.  Yuck.

Anyhoo, that is pretty much all that is going on with me.  See, you didn’t really miss much in the month and half that I haven’t written.  I’ll try not to stay away for that long again.  Hope you are all having a good week so far!

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8 Comments

  1. What?! No one commented yet? Crazy…anyway, the dating “mehs” are pretty much a constant thing as we all know. The only solution I found is instead of trying to balance all the elements of work, personal life, dating life, etc you need to really pick which one you want to change and spend the most time on it. You seemed more upset by the lack of change when you did your taxes. I don’t have any major changes in the last 5 years either, changes but not epic…yet. But I know my time is best spent on things where there is the greatest overall impact…dating wasn’t it. Finding someone isn’t going to get me a promotion or more education or whatever the tangible goal is but I still had some fun mind you.

    I like that you want to volunteer at races and participate in running in them, you are bound to meet people that way as well which beats sitting in front of the computer looking at profiles. Even the smallest changes can make a difference.

    This is a mild rah-rah speech but I know you can do this 🙂

    • Thanks, Jen. I just sometimes feel down when I see major things (promotions, marriages, babies, buying houses, etc) happening to everyone around me. My work situation is better. Yes, I am working twice as much, but overall, am getting more recognition for my work and contributions.

      Dating? Well, I suppose if it bothered me as much as I think it does or should, I’d be more pro-active about meeting someone. I know working long hours is cutting into that time and wearing me down physically and mentally, but I’d work more to make it happen if it was a priority.

      I am looking forward to getting back to doing races (its just way too hard for me to motivate to do the winter races). And yes, you are right in that participating in the races will put me in proximity to many others and who knows who’ll I’ll meet.

      I appreciate the pep talk. I need it sometimes! 🙂

  2. OMG! As per the usual, you and I are on the same page. Your bullet about your taxes “moment” totally resonates with me. I’m having a major case of the sads right now. It turns out seemingly everyone is having ADDITIONAL babies. Yeah, additional, meaning…more. They already have at least ONE baby. And they’re moving into new, giant homes. They’re going on great vacations. And here I am, year after year, with virtually no changes in MY personal life. Nothing. And it’s just so frustrating. I’m the first to admit that I probably don’t put as much into dating as I should…but we all know how I feel about online dating. And I’ve had horrible luck with setups…so I honestly feel like I don’t know WHAT to do in order to find a date/man!

    I’m pretty low right now…so encouragement isn’t my forte. But, maybe knowing that someone else “gets” what you’re going through will help a little? Wishing the BEST for you, Amy!

    • Thank you! I wish all the very best for you, as well!!!!

  3. I’m glad you checked in!

    “Like someone has their hand on my forehead, and is telling me ‘no no no, not so fast. Where do you think you’re going? Step back, ain’t nothing here for you.’”—This is exactly how I feel.

  4. Aww, I missed ya! I’ve been checking occasionally. I’m glad you are back but sorry you have a case of the sads. Maybe the recognition of where your life is will prompt some action? Or maybe something is on the horizon. That’s what I like to think, anyway.

  5. So it’s been a while, right? How are things with you? Did it freak you out thinking somebody might have found what you are writing about them? I hope that won’t stop you. In high school I used to be so scared my boyfriends would find my diary, I used to hide it under the floorboards whenever anybody was coming over. Finally I burned it. I really regret that.

    • Thanks for the comment! I’ve been good. Still busy working and not really doing anything on the dating front. I’ve been quiet on here because not much has been going on. I still think that one person did find my blog, but I’m not really concerned anymore, since we haven’t been dating for a while.

      I’m bummed to hear that you burned your diary. I am lucky that I still have all my journals from college thru my 20’s. I do worry, though, about the day when I am no longer around and whomever gets tasked with cleaning out my stuff stumbles across them and will finally get to see how neurotic and boy-crazy I was! Haha.

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