week one on okcupid

Here are some of the emails I have received on OKCupid.  All of them are so generic and cut’n’paste and none of them referenced anything in my profile.  [my comments in green]:

“you are so pretty and feminine.
so lucky to be a girl. i wish i had your choices. *blush*”  [Umm, thanks?]

“Life is too short to wait for something to happen. Now is the time to make it happen. If you would like a friend to have a drink with and share some time, I would be honored to be in your company. Just say the word and I’m there.”  [Ooo yay!  Another drinking buddy… just what my liver needs]

“Wow.You are the type of woman I am looking to spend some quality time with. I may not be the best looking guy on here,or the sharpest dresser, or have the one line that will make you melt. But what I do have is sincerity, charm and decent looks. I can laugh at myself and will make you laugh as well. I will cuddle and hold you in my arms and let you know each day how important it is that you are a part of my life. I also have a little Bad Boy in me as well. If this sounds like someone you will want to get to know, get back to me. You will not be disappointed.let’s give it a try”  [I barely wrote anything in my profile…what about it made you think I’m your ‘type’ of woman?  Just my pics?  Thanks, I guess]

how are you im new to the site
and i was wondering if you wanted to chat sometime”  [Uh, no]

“often i’m in NYC and next year i should move there, i hope you give me a chance to know you …
hi how are you”  [You live in Italy now…contact me next year if, god forbid, I’m still on this god-forsaken site]

“Hi beautiful,how are you today 🙂 , what are upto next week or weekend,I would love to ask u out if you are available,a litlle bit about me 🙂 im 5ft n 11inches tall, i love workingout,going for fun trips and i am a very optimistic guy settled in my career.
I am from *******,NJ and work in financial markets as a stock trader, I wanted to know you more and we could go out.so where do u like to go for fun and on weekends.
Let’s keep it simple if ur interested lets go out on a date rather then wasting months and days just to email back n forth life is short so lets keep it simple you could send me ur tel no and we could speak or text each other.”  [This guy had no pic.  No picture, no communication, thank you]

“I want me an older women :)”  [This from a 23 year old.  Oh good lord]

One week on and I’m communicating with two guys.  One who seems “normal” compared to many of the others.  And the other is…the beach-posing-Beefcake!  I’ll update you on that in tomorrow’s post.



  1. It’s a shame men don’t have the common sense to know that writing a few lines that shows they read your profile would get them so much further than a cut-and-paste or a long line of lame BS.

  2. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: a lot of guys out there would really benefit from reading some women’s dating blogs! They’d learn that it really is worth taking that extra second to type “you” rather than “u”, and that writing an opening message which suggests they wish they could change their gender may not go down well!

  3. Would it be overkill to say again, “This would seem to be par for the course for that site.”? 🙂 But alas they still cast a wide net hoping to catch what they can I suppose, cut and paste really streamlines that approach. In my opinion, most are not out for a relationship, that is until they had enough bad scenarios/experiences and/or life has beaten them down enough to see benefits to it, emotionally. Some never do…

  4. Your dating the gay beefcake????? Oh, do tell! 😉

    • *You’re. What am I, on OKCupid? Gah!

      • ifUseekAmy

        Not dating. My bitchiness scared him away. Pretty typical for me. I really need a filter.

      • Nah. You just need a man that appreciates your wonderful snarky self.

        And besides….it was probably more that you didn’t have a penis. 😉

        • ifUseekAmy

          Thank you. Yeah, my lacking a penis could have been a big obstacle when it came to sexy time. LOL

  5. I have a boat-load of new respect for women who online date, and that comes from more than just reading those messages. The girl I’ve been dating (who I met on OkCupid) has shown me the inbox on her account and some of the messages she has received from guys on there.

    Of anything I feel extremely confident that I do not have as much competition as I originally thought on that site.


  6. Dating sites rarely attract quality men. The profiles are often generic bullspit.
    The dating sites usually attract men who love having a ‘smorgasbord’ of women they can choose from. They put in as little effort as possible, and if somebody goes for it, they are happy.
    If they actually bother to go to the effort to meet someone, they don’t try very hard because they know they can go back to the computer and ‘find’ someone else right away.
    Plus, it’s easy for the married ones to pretend to be divorced. Or the ones without jobs to pretend to be employed.

    You are WAY better off meeting someone in person, hard as that may be.

    • While there are tons of men of dubious quality on dating sites, there are some quality men. I’ve had a 2.5 year relationship and a 15 month relationship with men I’ve met online. I also have a handful of friends who have met the people they married online. That is why I’m online. Yes, you have to weed through all the ‘bad’, but there are good ones out there.

      And not for nothing, but women can do the same thing…use online dating in those same ways you stated.

      • Once again, I made an assumption without checking it out first! Sorry, and glad that you’ve had good luck and used good judgement in weeding out the bad eggs.

        • ifUseekAmy

          No worries, no way for you to know unless you know me personally or have been a long time reader.

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