one down, one still to go…in a few days

So, it’s 8PM on Saturday night and here I am typing out a blog post instead of meeting a hot guy for drinks.  Why?  Because Saturday’s double-header got “rained out” after the first game.  The hot guy had to postpone our date until Tuesday night.

Well, I may as well get you up-to-date with Date #1 with Eharm #2.  I need to come up with nicknames for these guys, instead of calling them Thing 1 and Thing 2…

OK, so I met “The Professor” for coffee at a Starbucks right near Penn Station.  His choice.  As unoriginal as you can get.  But anyways, I get there and upon seeing him for the first time, I immediately know that he’s not him.  “Him” being someone who could sweep my off my feet and whom I’d want to make babies with.  I’m a firm believer that in the first few seconds of meeting someone you know whether or not you want to get naked with that person.  He was so not that person for me.  He did not pass my litmus test (could I picture myself kissing him).  I don’t even think alcohol would have helped either.  He was, however, just as I had pegged him…a really nice guy.

We spoke for about an hour and a half.  I blathered on about lots of nonsense.  Well, maybe not nonsense, but I talked a lot and really fast.  It wasn’t that he didn’t talk, but I think I just dominated the conversation because I knew I wasn’t interested in him.  Does that make any sense?  He would ask me a one sentence question and I’d spend 5 mins answering.  I’d ask him a question and give him 30 seconds to answer.  Damn, I am such a brat.  But he was such a nice guy that he just let me do it.

He was very complimentary and who doesn’t love a little ego boost?  Told me I was much prettier in person than my pictures.  While we were getting up to leave Starbucks, he mentioned that he would love to see me again.  I pretended (as I was rising from my chair and grabbing my purse) that I didn’t hear him.  We got outside and hugged and told him that I hoped he had fun tonight with his friends.  On my way home, he texted telling me what a great time he had and how he’d love to take me out to dinner next week.  I haven’t responded yet.  Putting of the inevitable.  I know, I know, I just need to tell him thanks, but no thanks.

Aside from not being physically attracted to him, there’s also the fact that I think I’d eat him up alive.  He’s just too nice and un-assertive for me.  As you may have picked up on, I can be kinda a bitch.  I’m a tough cookie.  He’s way too nice to be a match for my personality. <sigh>

After that first date, I still have my hair and I’m not yet checking myself into the loony bin.  There’s always next week…



  1. Ah well – sorry to hear that this guy wasn’t “him” but at least it wasn’t a horrible-enough-to-put-you-off-dating-for-weeks experience either.

    I have a suggestion for something you could do if you have a first date and instantly know he’s not for you but still decide to go through with the date out of politeness: practice how you’d want to do a date with a guy you actually liked. What if you end up on a date with a somewhat unassertive guy who also happens to be really hot? You might not want to walk all over him – you might want to lead him towards being a better prospect for you. I’m not advocating leading someone on – just saying that if you’re going to spend 90 minutes there anyway then you might as well make it more constructive somehow.

    • Good pointer. Thanks! My only concern is that even if I am with the hottest guy on earth and he comes across as unassertive and someone I’d walk all over, I know that I’m not going to change him to make him more “my type/match”. I’ve dated the meek, boring, hot guys before. If I find myself on a date with him again, I’ll be polite, engaging, and charming for the requisite amount of time, decide if he’s worth a make out session or not, and then move on. I really do appreciate your feedback. If it’s not obvious, I need all the guidance and help I can get!

  2. Glad you made it through date #1! I know exactly what you mean – that litmus test (can I picture myself kissing him?) is crucial. I’m always annoyed when people act like you need to go on 3 more dates with the person. Honestly, if I can picture KISSING the guy…I can’t imagine I’ll be able to picture us doing anything else. Also, I hate when I’m on the date and can tell it’s not going to work, but the guy had GREAT time and wants to go out again. Ugh! Sounds like he’s a nice guy, but just not the guy for you.

    • Thanks! He was a really nice guy. That may have been part of the problem. But personality aside, there was no way I could even picture myself drunk and wanting to kiss him. Oh wellz. I let him know that I didn’t think we were a good match and wished him luck, then closed the connection online.

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