put me in coach, i’m ready to play the game

Being my very altruistic self, I am sacrificing my dignity and sanity so that I may have something interesting to blog about.

I’ve finally decided that I needed to bite the bullet and join the ranks of online daters…once again.  This time, however, I am giving E-Harmony a shot.  Maybe it was the commercials on TV that got to me or maybe it was the group of guys in the bar last week that were so freaking annoying (story below) that it made me think that finding a guy “in real life” wasn’t going to happen.  Whatever the case, I signed up for 6 months.  Yikes.

First of all, the whole signing up process took way longer than it should have.  I’ve never used E-HorrorMe before so I was starting from scratch.  I don’t know if it was my computer (which it shouldn’t be since it’s brand spanking new) or my Internet connection or the E-Harm site, but every single page froze and I had to reload it, which in many instances, erased all my answers.  I was ready to give up before I was even 30% done with the questionnaire and then when I got to the part to upload photos?  Oy.  Took me 5 or 6 tries.  I was so freaking annoyed with the site before I was even active and meeting my matches.

I’ve been on for about one day.  I’ve been matched with about 30 guys so far.  About 6 have sent me questions.  I responded to 3 of them, I think.  I sent out a handful of questions from my matches.  Then tonight I noticed the tab that said “What if?” tab and found out that it lets you browse a bunch of other guys that may fall a bit out of your preferences (age or location).  So, I clicked through and sent a bunch of other questions out.  Yeah, I know I am being all lazy by not just sending messages, but I’m just getting back into it.  I’m still just getting my feet wet.

Oh, so the annoying guys in the bar last week.  Ugh.  I was meeting a friend at a bar around the corner from my work.  We had chosen one bar, but named another as backup in case we couldn’t get a table in the outdoor space.  I got there and saw the outdoor space was hosting a private party, but I sat down at the bar to wait for my friend.  She was running late because she accidentally thought we’d agreed on the other bar a block away and went there.  When we figured out the miscommunication, she told me to stay put as the bar she was at was also hosting a private party.  So I ordered a beer and no sooner than I got it, I was swarmed by 4 guys who stepped over to the bar to order drinks.  They had been standing by the far wall prior.  Important to note that the bar area upstairs where we were was empty.  Plenty of space all around and especially at the bar.  So anyways, these guys (in their 20s) are standing two on one side of me and two on the other.  I’m wondering why they didn’t step up to the bar at any other place then right next to me, but shrugged it off.

Then they get their beers and stand right behind me.  When I say right behind me, I mean RIGHT BEHIND MY CHAIR, TOUCHING IT.  I couldn’t believe that they had the whole fucking bar to stand and they are literally on top of me and my chair.  It got so bad that at one time (and last), one of these understanding-personal-space-challenged nimrods actually kept moving backward so that he practically wound up in my lap.  I had to tap him on the shoulder and say “uh, excuse me, what the fuck?” for him to realize that there was a PERSON sitting in the bar stool.  He looked at me and said that he thought he was leaning against the chair.  Umm no, that would be my lap, you moron.

About a minute later my friend arrived and she had to tell them to move so she could sit down.  They finally got the hint and moved about 5 feet away.  The rest of the evening was lovely, but it soured me on the idea of meeting these douche rags in bars.


  1. I signed up for eHarmony a long, long time ago. Most extensive questionnaire ever….

  2. Yes! Bring on the online dating stories! That’s what brought me to blogworld in the first place! I mean, I hope that your stories go well, but these things tend to make for good blog material either way.

  3. I thought New Yorkers didn’t need personal space?

    Just kidding — but I have to ask: Were they drunk morons or sober morons while they were swarming you?

    • You’d think we’d be used to having other people all up in our faces when we spend so much time in crowded spaces, but yeah, we need personal space 🙂

      I have to think they were somewhat sober. It was only 6:30 or so. And they weren’t talking loudly or being all boisterous as drunk 20ish guys are prone to do. I’m just apparently invisible as they just didn’t see there was someone occupying the chair they needed to surround and lean on.

  4. It almost sounds like my awkward high school days “Ooh, cute gir–er–woman, if I get close maybe she’ll notice me” but 4 of them doing it at the same time seems like awkward to the nth degreee.

    Plus attempting to sit on someone you’d like not to piss off is just bad form

  5. Evelyn Carnate

    Totally been there, I think every woman has. So annoying.

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