dear a$$hat #2

Dear Asshat,

I have to say I’m a little disappointed in your choice of wedding venue.  Church, reception hall.  If, in fact, this was a wedding that involved very quick planning.  I’m choosing to believe that, rather than the alternative that says you decided to get married back in May, which would only be within 4 months (maybe less) of meeting and that would just majorly up the cray-cray factor.

So, I’m going to believe that this was a wedding planned in 2 weeks.  (I’m also choosing to believe that you met the day after we broke up to extend the time of courtship.)  I’m generously giving you the less crazy benefit of the doubt.

Which brings me to this.  If you are planning a crazy quick wedding, why disappoint?  Why not go balls to the wall all out and do it right?  Hop a flight to Vegas and visit The Little White Wedding Chapel and let fat Elvis dressed in a white polyester sequined jumpsuit marry you!  I mean, let’s be real, that dress was much more suited for a Vegas wedding, don’cha think?

Fondly,
The girl who, when she gets married, will do it straight up right (whether quickie or long-planned)

(no offense intended towards those who had a quickie wedding that consisted of a church and reception hall)

 

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1 Comment

  1. Brenda

    Amy: Love love love your blog. You are an excellent (and very entertaining) writer.
    You should publish. Love, your second mom!

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