ducking for cover

After that little bombshell dropped on me and then onto you all, I’ve gotten great feedback from you guys.  Thank you so much!

Like Grey Goose and nearly every single person on the planet said, I dodged a bullet.

Holy cripes.

I either have the best luck or worst luck in relationships, depends how you look at it.  Twice in two years I’ve not just dodged a bullet, but dodged a ginormous, flaming, spiked, nuclear warhead coming my way.

And to think that I fought for this relationship less than 7 months ago.  I need to lay off the crazy juice.

If this shit didn’t happen to me, I’d never believe it to be true.  Seriously.  I’d be all like “stop stealing stories from Melrose Place”.  (I watched MP back in the day, but don’t remember if anything like my life ever happened, cause my memory only goes back 10 years and MP pre-dates that.)

I’m still in such shock at the speed Asshat’s relationship moved.  But I’m not completely surprised.

I told Evie that I used to look back on our relationship with fond memories.  I don’t know if I can anymore.  We had some really great times and it started out incredible.  It seemed too good to be true (umm, you know what they say about that).  Then it slowly dissolved, but I still fought for it.  And I persevered.  We got back together.  Then after a few good months, it went downhill fast.  And yet I still fought for it.  Up until January 15th.  Even after the final break-up and through the healing, I defended the relationship.  I defended that it showed me that I have the capacity to love.  I guess I can still believe that, but it’s the only thing I can take away from that 15-month period.  Congrats, Asshat, you turned me against what we had.

Well, I will give it to him that he’s a really excellent liar.  Because he was lying to someone – me, her, and/or himself.  He went from proclaiming love for me to telling me we can’t be together to proclaiming love to a new woman within the span of like a month.  Somewhere along the line, he was lying.  If he could move on so quickly from me, then he lied to me.  If he didn’t, then he lied to himself and her.  Nobody moves on that fast with such intensity.  He’s very quick to fall in/out of love – that should have been the biggest red flag in our relationship.  Not to mention his constant flip-flopping the first time we broke up (I love you.  I don’t love you.  I love you.  For. Nearly. A. Month).  Holy shitballs, a blind/deaf/mute/total illiterate raised by wolves, living alone in a cave could have seen those warning signs.  There were so many that I consciously chose to ignore.  I wish I could go back to April 2011 and smack myself 1,001 ways till Sunday.

I kinda feel sorry for this woman, if he could fall in love with her so quickly, he can and might just as quickly fall out of love with her.  And now she’s legally bound to him.  And if the reason behind the marriage is a pregnancy?  Oy.  You know my feelings on that and they aren’t pretty or very nice.  Why do these men put me in the position of constantly having to feel sorry for their wives????  And if there’s a baby?  I have to feel sorry that the poor child, too?  Dammit.  Damn them!

I don’t want anyone to think that I am devastated by this.  I had come to terms with our break-up awhile ago.  I could easily say that I did not want to get back together with him.  I’m just surprised.  Not that it happened, but that it all happened in a 6-month period.  Immediately after we broke up.

I wonder what his family thinks of this whirlwind romance?  His parents?  His cousin with whom he’s really close?  What about his (very few) friends?  What about his coworkers, one of whom met me in late-December?  I’m sure they are just as surprised and in disbelief at this all.

Hmm, just thought of something…today one year ago, Asshat was taking care of me while I was puking up my guts due to vertigo…perhaps that had something to do with our ultimate downfall?  I’m just thinking…copious amounts of puke may make anyone rethink their future with the person going all pea-soupy Exorcist on them.  Damn the fact that I applauded him and gave him great praise at the time.  Now I just want to really go all pea-soupy Exorcist on him, literally.

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5 Comments

  1. Oy. Just…. oy. Here’s the thing (and I know I lucked out BIG TIME when it came to finding a man): You shouldn’t have to try so hard. If you have to try so hard, it’s not right. Ever.

    (Yes, over the long term — after years and years of marriage and compromise and sink whiskers and snoring — you have to work on things to keep it together when the newness wears off, but those first few years? Those should be cake.)

    You had to try way, way. too. hard. for this guy. It never would’ve gotten easier. Let him go.

    • Oh I know that now and looking back in hindsight…well, you know how that goes. But I’m just so shocked at the impulsiveness of this marriage. Less than 7 months? Jeezus, I was going to say that I have had eggs in the fridge longer than that, but as I’m especially queasy about expired food, I sure as heck don’t. I’ve let him go, trust me. But it sure is fun (for me anyways) to wax on about how redonkulous the whole thing is.

  2. I feel kinda sorry for his new wife too. I don’t see a very bright future there.

    • Yeah, me neither, unless they both have that uber-needy/co-dependent/insecure personality and they can co-exist in their own little bubble (which is likely to pop at some point), they are headed for a tough, miserable road. He is definitely the type to look for little faults in the other person when the bloom starts to wear off (and he knows that and admits to it).

      • Maybe he should have thought about that before marrying someone he’s only known a few months!!

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