the dating at work series – story #1

Every once in a while my mother asks me if there are any single guys at work that I could date.

Uh, no.

For one thing, my industry is like 60% female.  Maybe more.  Roughly 20% of the men are under 35, with about 15% of them under 30.  About 5% of the rest are gay.  The remaining 15% are straight and age appropriate (in that they are 35+).  However, they are all married.

So, no Mom, there are no single guys at work that I could date.

More importantly, I don’t want to eat where I shit.  At least any more.  Been there, done that.  With no good result, as I am still single.  Sure, it works for some people.  It just hasn’t worked for me.  Let’s look at the case studies (dates may be off because I suffer from Can’tRememberShit syndrome):

#1 “Agency Boy” – Summer 2002
He’s nicknamed as such, because we used to work for the same company, just different spin-offs.  We worked in the same building, but I was on the 25th floor and he was on the 6th floor (my old floor) and used different elevator banks.  My best friend and I used to call him “name of the agency Boy”.

We met randomly at a bar in the Village.  Drunkenly spent the night making out after figuring out that we both worked at the same place.

After a couple of dates, I was beginning to realize that I just wasn’t feeling it.  He was a perfectly nice and smart and personable guy and not terrible on the eyes.  But ‘the spark’ just wasn’t there.  I gave it ‘one more shot’ as advised by friends and went out with him a couple more times, but nothing, nada, nil.

Of course, instead of just telling him this outright, I did the fade-away.  Stopped answering phone calls, emails, etc.  Real mature, I know.

Normally, this wouldn’t pose too much of a problem.  BUT, don’t forget that we worked in the same building.  As Murphy’s Law would have it, just try avoiding the one person you really don’t want to see.  Yeah, that’s right.  I would wind up seeing him EVERYWHERE.  In the cafeteria.  Outside the main entrance.  On the sidewalk a few blocks from work.  On the subways, and this was when I didn’t take subways that often because I lived within walking distance of work.  In a city of 8 million people, I saw him way too often.

Here’s the kicker.  A year later, my best friend and a couple of her co-workers were in the city one night to attend another co-worker’s apartment party.  I joined.  We walk into the apartment and pretty much headed straight for the kitchen to drop off our party contributions.  After spending a bit of time in the kitchen, we ventured out.  That’s when I look into the living room area and who do I see?  Agency Boy.  Yeah.

I tried to avoid eye contact and pretend I didn’t see him for as long as I could, but eventually, I had to acknowledge his presence.  When that time came around, we went over to where he was and we talked.  Caught up and I thought everything was fine.  Some time later, he and his friend decide they are going to go to another party and get up to leave.  So far so good.  Before he leaves though, he comes back over to where I was sitting on the sofa and kneels in front of me and says “can I ask you a question?”  Here’s when the panic hits and I imagine he’s going to ask me why I am such a bitch and why I blew him off.

“I couldn’t leave without asking you this…Would you want to hang out again sometime?”

Uh, crap.  Smart Amy would have said “no.”  Notice how I said ‘would have’?  Dumb Amy answered “sure.”  Dumb indeed.  I can’t recall exactly (Can’tRememberShit) but I think when my friends and I left about half hour later, he and his friend were loitering outside and we ran into them on our way out…I may be making that up, but I think it’s true.

Fast forward a week or two and Agency Boy calls.  I might have answered or I might have let it go to voicemail and then called him back, but regardless, I told him that I was out with friends and either he was going to call me back or I was going to call him back and none of the above actually happened.  And that was the end of that.

So I thought.  Well mostly.  Now we can fast forward like 2 years and I am switching subways at 72nd St.  Who do I see on the platform?  You got it.  I almost crapped myself, but I don’t think he saw me.  Or if he did, he played like he didn’t.  This happened like 5 more times over the next few months – seeing him on the 72nd St. platform and me dodging him.

Haven’t seen him since 2006.  Maybe he’s moved out of NY?  Or most likely, I’ll run into him tonight.  Cause Murphy and his freakin’ laws and the angels of fate love me like that.

Well, instead of making this post super long (too late, I realize now), I’ll break this down into separate posts, cause you know I have more than one guy that I’ve worked with that I’ve hooked up with or dated.  Proof positive that I am indeed a moron.  Stay tuned…



  1. Your industry is the opposite of mine when it comes to gender. As you know in my area if you are not part of a couple you pretty much are given the stink eye and are forced to where a big “S” for single or “W” for whore because single apparently also equals promiscuous.
    Never dated anyone work related/same company so I am looking forward to these posts to see how these things transpired 🙂

  2. Don’t feel bad about the fade away. I think a lot of people do it. I did it once to a guy from college. We went out twice, and then I told him I just wanted to be friends. He called me several times over the summer and left messages; I called him once because I felt bad. When school started the next year, he yelled at me for how I treated him. Oops….

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