dear st. elmo #1
Wow, rush things much? It’s been what, two whole months since we’ve totally, completely ended all things between us and you are already so embedded into a new relationship that you can make your Facebook profile a couple pic? I don’t know why I am so surprised. I know it’s your MO to jump from one relationship to the next. I just thought that you might actually follow my advice to take the proper time to get over one relationship before rushing into the next. But of course, you wouldn’t listen to me – you don’t know how to be alone.
The whole notion of going from one relationship right into the next is so foreign to me. I’ve told you this before. Back when I found out you were on Match again – right after we broke up in October. You said “who says it’s not healthy to develop another relationship so soon?” Umm, any rational, sane, balanced person. It’s like you don’t know how to take the time to reconcile feelings from one relationship before you open up a new can of worms with the next. Hence, you jump and jump into relationships that ultimately don’t work out because residual emotions and issues haven’t been dealt with. Hell, this was a problem when we were together. (And I’ll address this in another letter)
I also don’t understand how you can declare your love for someone, break-up, and then a week later be out there looking for new love? Doesn’t that undermine all the previous love that you claimed to have felt? Me thinks that you are overly free with doling out the love. Which is fine, if it’s done in a way that doesn’t go around breaking hearts and wrecking havoc. You, sadly, do not have that magical touch.
I almost feel sorry for you. You need to be in a relationship. You can’t be alone. You claim that you can be, but you haven’t for years. And now you’ve moved on past me with someone new. I get it. It’s fine. I’m perfectly fine. Unlike you, I have a large network of people surrounding me whom I can count on to talk to and who will meet me when I need a drink or just be there. You need a love interest because you don’t have anyone close to rely on. When we were together, I was your best friend, your confidant, your lover, your drinking buddy, your social life, your home life. You have to date someone in order to have someone to talk to and relate to and go out with. I don’t envy that kind of existence.
You think I am too independent. I’m not. You are way too dependent. I don’t need to be with someone. I want to be with someone. There’s a huge difference. But for you, they are one of the same. There’s a sad neediness to your having to be a part of a couple. If you were female, you would no doubt be labeled as a desperate stage 5 clinger. So, lucky for you, you are a guy.
I was thinking about how you claimed that you know so much more about being in a relationship because you’ve been in so many, while I, on the other hand, have been in a lot fewer. Does having 20 failed relationships make you more knowledgeable of what a good relationship is? You couldn’t get it right 20 times…isn’t that a more telling story? I’d rather have my track record (of fewer failed relationships) than yours. Any day in this lifetime and in the next.
Maybe one day you’ll learn from your past (20 or so mistakes), but from what I’ve seen in the 18 months that I’ve known you, you never will. And that is really sad and unfortunate.