let the horror stories commence

So, I’ve done it…sacrificing myself for all your amusement.  Because I feel the need to inflict more pain upon myself, I have re-signed on Match.  KILL ME NOW.

I’m not entirely sure I am ready for this, but kinda accidentally unhid my profile on Sunday while trying to update it.  I hadn’t even gotten past the subscription screen when an email comes through telling me that someone winked at me.  To say I was surprised is an understatement.  And I kinda panicked.  But then I decided to just go ahead and do the inevitable.  Sign up for 6 months.  Now 6 months is a big commitment for me.  Last two times I was on, I only did the 3 month subscription.  And while I did wind up meeting someone in those three months both times, I’m not feeling as optimistic it will happen this time around.

Now, perhaps I should tell you who is also on Match…. ah, if you guessed St. Elmo, you are the big winner.  Before I actually went through updating my profile, I decided to take a gander at what kind of doucheroos guys were on there.  I’m browsing, seeing some of the same guys that were on 3, wait 4 years ago and all of a sudden I see St. Elmo.  WTF! was pretty much my reaction.

To say I didn’t throw a mini fit would be a big old lie.  While it is over, we have been on friendly terms.  That is until I bitched him out for being on Match so soon after we broke up (he admitted that he’s been on for more than a couple weeks).  I was pretty much incredulous that he jumped back into dating as soon as we broke up.  That to me meant that our relationship didn’t mean anything and that he never loved me because how could he date so soon if he actually had?  I won’t copy/paste the transcript of our Gchat convo, but it was not pretty.  Now I do realize that most of my anger and my lashing out at him stems from my being upset.  I know he did love me and he’s hurting.  But he’s a completely in denial thinking that he can take it slow (he tried to convince me that with anyone he meets, he’s going to go slow.  Whatevs!).  He’s going back to dating to “move on” and because I don’t think that he can be alone for too long.  He’s just going to jump right into a relationship head first with the first girl he gets along with.  He goes from relationship to relationship without giving himself the proper time to get over the last one.  I know it’s true, he knows it’s true.  Whatever.  He’s no longer my problem, right?  I have to focus on me and my healing.  If he’s going to dive into another relationship with the next girl without ever really getting over me and our relationship, that’s his (and unfortunately the girl’s) issue.  I had every right to give him a piece of my mind and make accusations whether they stemmed from me being upset or not.

But anyways, yes, I’m back on Match.  Unexpectedly and much sooner than I thought.  But maybe it’ll prove to be a good distraction in a bad way (dealing with douches).  Ehh, we’ll see.  I’ll be sure to keep you all posted about horror stories and whatnot.


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