so sorry you stopped by…
Every day someone searches for “wife material” and is brought to my blog. Every. Single. Day.
Now for all of you readers who got here that way…my deepest, sincerest apologies. Boy, did you ever stumble across the wrong place. I am most definitely not sure what “wife material” is, as that description has eluded me for my entire adult dating life. I thought I was almost there and finally going to achieve that status, but lo and behold, DENIED. Customs would not stamp my passport and promptly turned me back to Singletown (I’m mayor, by the way. Please note, it’s Singletown I’m mayor of, not Crazytown. Though I have been known to visit that place every once in awhile).
I don’t even fall into “girlfriend material” anymore.
“Spinster”, “old maid”, “sad cat lady”? Yes, yes, and yes (well, one cat).
This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I had on the news. Of course, there was Royal Wedding coverage galore. And I happened to still be home when the “balcony kiss” occurred, so I got to watch it live. I teared up. I did not tear up because it was a touching moment (though it was). I teared up because I had thought that I’d be having that post-marriage vow kiss with someone I adored. Someone who doesn’t adore me back. I couldn’t help but feel the green-eyed monster make my chest tighten and force me to take deep breaths to calm myself down, while dabbing at my eyes so my mascara wouldn’t run.
Everyone kept mentioning the words “fairytale”, “happily ever after”, “princess”. Well, all my fairytale, happily ever after dreams walked away from me on Sunday. I know, I know, I am being a ginormous drama-queen. Yada, yada, yada…there is someone perfect out there for me…I’ll meet him and everything will be wonderful…I’ll get my happily ever after. You know what? I’m actually gonna call bullshit on all that. That’s right, BULLSHIT!
I don’t doubt that I will meet someone else. I mean, eventually, at some point in my life, I will meet someone else. But I really feel like the story where I get married and have a nice family is never going to be realized. I was so close to it and didn’t get it. Yes, I’m bitter and feel defeated now and it’s more than likely warping my sense of reality. But it was right in front of me and it didn’t happen.
Holy shit, am I depressing or what???? I can’t believe any of you still read this. I’m like the ultimate downer. I’ll try and talk about other things in future posts. Maybe I’ll tell some of the stories of my past relationships…zzzzzzzz, sorry, I just dozed off for a moment. But as I’m not currently dating, it’s all I got on the man front. Unless you want me to drone on and on about………zzzzzzzzzzzzz, yeah, that’s what I thought.
OK, from this moment on, no more depressing, sad, weepy posts about “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named”. Now’s about the time I need to virtually smack myself and yell “snap out of it!”
And again, I’m sorry for all of you who were looking for good advice on how to recognize whether your lady is good wife material. Unfortunately, I can’t help you there. But should you need to be brought down to depressing lows, by all means check out my previous posts…