so sorry you stopped by…

Every day someone searches for “wife material” and is brought to my blog.  Every. Single. Day.

Now for all of you readers who got here that way…my deepest, sincerest apologies.  Boy, did you ever stumble across the wrong place.  I am most definitely not sure what “wife material” is, as that description has eluded me for my entire adult dating life.  I thought I was almost there and finally going to achieve that status, but lo and behold, DENIED.  Customs would not stamp my passport and promptly turned me back to Singletown (I’m mayor, by the way.  Please note, it’s Singletown I’m mayor of, not Crazytown.  Though I have been known to visit that place every once in awhile).

I don’t even fall into “girlfriend material” anymore.

“Spinster”, “old maid”, “sad cat lady”?  Yes, yes, and yes (well, one cat).

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I had on the news.  Of course, there was Royal Wedding coverage galore.  And I happened to still be home when the “balcony kiss” occurred, so I got to watch it live.  I teared up.  I did not tear up because it was a touching moment (though it was).  I teared up because I had thought that I’d be having that post-marriage vow kiss with someone I adored.  Someone who doesn’t adore me back.  I couldn’t help but feel the green-eyed monster make my chest tighten and force me to take deep breaths to calm myself down, while dabbing at my eyes so my mascara wouldn’t run.

Everyone kept mentioning the words “fairytale”, “happily ever after”, “princess”.  Well, all my fairytale, happily ever after dreams walked away from me on Sunday.  I know, I know, I am being a ginormous drama-queen.  Yada, yada, yada…there is someone perfect out there for me…I’ll meet him and everything will be wonderful…I’ll get my happily ever after.  You know what?  I’m actually gonna call bullshit on all that.  That’s right, BULLSHIT!

I don’t doubt that I will meet someone else.  I mean, eventually, at some point in my life, I will meet someone else.  But I really feel like the story where I get married and have a nice family is never going to be realized.  I was so close to it and didn’t get it.  Yes, I’m bitter and feel defeated now and it’s more than likely warping my sense of reality.  But it was right in front of me and it didn’t happen.

Holy shit, am I depressing or what????  I can’t believe any of you still read this.  I’m like the ultimate downer.  I’ll try and talk about other things in future posts.  Maybe I’ll tell some of the stories of my past relationships…zzzzzzzz, sorry, I just dozed off for a moment.  But as I’m not currently dating, it’s all I got on the man front.  Unless you want me to drone on and on about………zzzzzzzzzzzzz, yeah, that’s what I thought.

OK, from this moment on, no more depressing, sad, weepy posts about “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named”.  Now’s about the time I need to virtually smack myself and yell “snap out of it!”

And again, I’m sorry for all of you who were looking for good advice on how to recognize whether your lady is good wife material.  Unfortunately, I can’t help you there.  But should you need to be brought down to depressing lows, by all means check out my previous posts…

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14 Comments

  1. 2blu2btru

    I have no idea how to go from wife material to actual wife, so I don’t think I’m doing any better. It sucks to be told what a wonderful wife you would make when it seems no one wants to marry you, even more so because “I know so much about men/relationships.” After years of being passed over for the hot girl, the slutty girl, the party girl, the rich girl and the career girl, I am now in a relationship with a guy for three years who “can’t even think about marriage right now.” Yay!

    Let’s have pity parties together. We’ll where comfy pajamas, watch romantic comedies and eat a ton of ice cream…right before I go shopping for my cat.

    • Haha! Chick-flicks and ice cream. Woo hoo!

  2. If you’re searching the internet to determine what “wife material” is, you should probably do some soul searching before strapping on that ball and chain. Wow… and to think it’s everyday.

    Sorry you’re having a bad (worse) day.

    • It is frightening that someone is searching for those kind of answers online… and they get to my blog because I once did a post where I questioned whether or not I was “girlfriend” or “wife” material. Well, I have the answer to that. Ugh.

      I have my moments. They aren’t as often, but they still happen. Random things will trigger them. Sigh.

  3. Grey Goose, Dirty

    Hell Amy, if it’s any consolation, at least you found someone for a short while. I’m still searching (apparently in vain, however). Not sure how I feel about that whole ‘it’s better to have loved and lost……’ nonsense, but just think of the nice break you got to take from the nightmare that is internet dating! 🙂

    Yeah, i didn’t help much, did I?

    • Yeah, I did get a 6 month break. I’ve been debating whether or not to go back online…eeeks. I know it’s too soon for another relationship, but maybe I just need a few random dates to distract me. But then again, will going on bad dates lift my spirits???? Errr, I’m gonna say probably not. But I think I need to get back on the horse at some point. CRAP.

      • Grey Goose, Dirty

        Bad dates are entertaining though Amy. In a totally tortuous sorta way. 😉 And then you can tell us all about them. Oh, sorry that was selfish, wasn’t it?

        I think you should go back on line. Just not right now. But maybe next week. 😉

  4. I had a breakdown today, too. I won’t go into the details but the agony of losing someone you thought you were going to marry and then realizing that you’re once again alone (and he’s moved on to someone who refuses to wear a bra but is proud and open about her drug use)… yes, it’s really just that awesome. You wonder what in the hell happened.

    Give yourself a bit of time before venturing back out there… you never know when love is going to kick the shit out of you. Best be prepared.

    • Aww, Pam, I’m sorry that you are having a rough time, too. Clearly, he is out of his right mind if he’s choosing some drugged-up braless-wonder over you. This just sucks. I’m sending huge virtual hugs your way. xoxoxoxo

  5. prettylittlereckless

    I think it’s because we can all relate. I definitely hear ya on “I really feel like the story where I get married and have a nice family is never going to be realized.” Um… I swear that’s my life. I’m so discouraged when it comes to dating or ever thinking I’ll actually one day be married with a family.

  6. Perhaps the “wife material” searchers are the ones who are looking for mail-order brides…scary thought right there…imagine being desperate enough to get out of a country that you’d marry some creep you’ve never met who can’t get a lady in real life????

    Anyway, thinking back to my break-up with my ex (the biggest break-up of my life) after about a month of mourning the loss of being in a relationship (not so much the loss of him) I kind of really enjoyed the free time. I gave myself three months before even considering dating again. I had girl time, get drunk and dance with friends while flirting with dudes and then not letting it go anywhere time, spa time, clean out my closets time, etc. Take some time – this is *your* time – enjoy yourself. You can’t get this time back. How much time did you put between “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” and dating last time?

    As you said, “I don’t doubt I will find someone else.” You will find the right one someday. It might be in five years (hopefully sooner), it might be a year from now, it might be six weeks from now. Just stay positive, focus on yourself and get your butt in gear and run that race in a few weeks! Put all that energy into that instead of letting that pesky biological clock cloud your brain. Of course, it is *not* at all easy – I know, I’ve lived it – but I know that doing that helped me put it all into perspective and not want to jump off a bridge.

    Think about this: you were “so close” to that so-called happily-ever-after…but what if Mr. Saint Elmo wasn’t “the one” and down the road, he might have had a mid-life crisis and left you for some bra-less wonder 2 years into marriage?? I’ve been hearing that sad story quite a bit lately…and it’s frightening and annoying…guys can be so dumb.

  7. [geeky moment]Ok, I’m not sure what you’re using for stats, but with Google Analytics, at least:

    If someone searches for, say, “wife material” once, then bookmarks the page because they ejoy the quality of writing or whatever (or just remembers advinbabysititingmen.wordpress.com and types it in manually) every future visit — until they clear cookies or the cookies die their own natrual death — will be labeled as “wife material” even though that’s not how they actually landed on your blog.

    The real trick is to look at the number of ‘new visitors’ who searched for ‘wife material’ if NV is = 0 and SQ > 0 [you might need a custom report to see this]then its (probably) the same person…they just found your blog and enjoy the writing.

    Otherwise, you really do have different people searching for “wife material” every day.
    [end geeky moment]

    Now…buck up. So you tried something, it worked for a while, but long term it wasn’t the right thing. I was single for 26.75 years straight (8 of those years with Match.com) so be patient…don’t rush…and the right guy will come.

  8. Ok, Amy… I know I’ve said before how we’re like kindred spirits.. but this is just uncanny. I ALWAYS say “I’m pulling the bullshit card” or “I call Bullshit”… the green-eyed monster gets me just about every freakin’ day. My coworker actually hung a cat thing in my office to remind me of how I will be the crazy cat lady. It’s just too funny to see how similar we are! Hang in there, lady. He will come. (yes, I know, it’s cliche and stupid, and likely untrue for myself…. but I still hope??) 🙂

    • Pam, we are kindred spirits! What a jackass move by that coworker. I’m learning to embrace my cat lady future. They don’t give me as much grief as men do. And they don’t give a rat’s ass if I lounge in PJs or sweats all day.

      One day, I believe someone will come along. I’m just not holding my breath… (sigh)

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