walking away

Walking away from a relationship is one of the toughest things we do in our lives.  Whether we were the one ending it or on the receiving end, it hurts either way.  One thing we can hope to count on is that we learn from those experiences.  Everybody who has been kind enough to comment on my posts keep driving that point home, along with the notion that we will survive it.

“What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” << It has to, if we want to remain a functioning part of society.  I don’t really have a choice.  I must remain a functioning part of society – for my family, my friends, my job, but mostly for myself.  I have to come out of this stronger.  Or else the heartbreak will have been for naught.

This has been a particularly painful and difficult relationship to walk away from.  I didn’t want to.  I am being forced to.  I know in my heart of hearts that everything is going to be just fine with me.  I will come out alive, kicking and screaming (in a good way) and be ready to take on the world.

But also, in my heart of hearts, I can’t help feeling the bitter, cold weight of defeat.  I lost a great love.  It wound up not being a love to last forever, but it was an intense one.  It’s very possible that the high intensity burned the candle too quickly.  Instead of the long, slow burn, we blazed through the wick and wax until there was nothing left.

This video has been making the rounds, and I’m sure many of you have seen it, but I thought it was really good and told the story well.  All relationships have stages.

I think St. Elmo and I got to the “comfortable” stage that led to complacency and possibly, boredom.  We took one another for granted, at least I will admit to that.  We didn’t fight or argue and perhaps that was the problem.  We didn’t communicate to one another when something bothered us.  It wasn’t until we were breaking up that all the issues and problems we had were divulged and discussed (at great length, mind you).  But by then it was too late.  The damage had been done.  Feelings had changed.  Faith had been lost.

The main lesson I take away from our particular relationship — Always address issues and problems as they arise.  Do not sit on them and let them fester and grow into a untameable beast.  They’ll grow and spread like a cancer and when you finally get around to the “chemo” or “radiation” treatment for your relationship, it will be too late.

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9 Comments

  1. I’m sorry. But (cliche alert – I’m sure you can’t get enough of those now) you DID try and you WILL get through this more aware and better equipped for the next relationship.

    • You’re absolutely right… We DID and I WILL. xoxo

  2. I have so been there, too many times. It can break you, but my times things fall away to make room for something better…

    • Thank you for the comment. I’m hoping that is the case this time, as well.

  3. 2blu2btru

    Good takeaway from this experience. It sucks to have to go through, but you are wiser and better for it. Communication is something you can use in all of your relationships. Sending you hugs and lots of love. :-)

  4. prettylittlereckless

    I agree- talk about everything. I walked away from a guy and had we talked it out, we’d probably be married with a few kids by now. :-/ Just gotta learn the lessons that are meant to be learned and take that with you for whatever comes next :)

  5. jess

    i dont believe in coincidence – i know.. each atom has its reason… reached to your page just when i needed it more than you… Terra Farmer blog i lean on.. each day and helps me stand.. like reaching your page today… each one will say their thots.. but only you will know.. what you are going through and no amount of lines and words will take that place.. its nice… many put forth their palms… to hold us .. in moments like these… i am doing the best and reading your page helps me to write this back to you… may you have all the smiles today… If you talk its like – What are you trying to prove… if you dont talk is like – why you did not talk .. hahahah … thank you so much.. for wording the thots in my heart… may you be happy in all your ways…

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