random thoughts

This was actually a post I started writing awhile ago…but never got around to posting it.  Ehh, now’s as good a time as ever….

Random things (positive things in blue; negative things in red; neutral things in gray; both good & bad in purple):

–          Is the universe laughing its face off by sending me spam email from ADT twice a day, every day????  You can suck it, universe.  Like, seriously, SUCK IT.  I need a daily reminder of when my relationship started going down the crapper?

–          The night St. Elmo and I broke up, I had a vivid dream that involved my Ex (Colossal Douche Bag).  In it he was showing me around his 3 bedroom house (he actually lives in a one bedroom apt).  It had been newly renovated and he was walking me around pointing out the new things.  He mentioned that his marriage is over and that she had moved out with the baby.  (bwahahahahahahaha).  He was there alone and he tried hitting on me.  Then I woke up.  WTF???  No, I have NOOOOOOO desire to even be in the same room as that f’ed up douche.  But it makes me wonder how his shotgun, unwanted marriage is going.  Maybe this is my 6th sense/woman’s intuition telling me something again? <snort>

–          I wonder when I am gonna want to eat cheese again.  I mean I eat it sometimes, but not with the enthusiasm I used to.

–          I wonder if I’ll be able to keep off the weight I’ve lost dealing with this bullshit.

–          I’m sure glad that St. Elmo and I didn’t actually register for the Disney race in October and book the plane tickets.  What a nightmare that would have been trying to cancel or change it.

–          Now I can plan a vacation.  A real one.  Before I was always considerate of the fact that Fridays and Tuesdays are closing days for him at work and he needs to be there, at least since he’s still relatively new there.

–          I no longer have to do tons of laundry every week.  OK, to be fair, he actually did more than his share of it.  Probably ¾ of it.

–          My apartment remains tidy and clean.  The bathroom sink stays spotless.  There aren’t any empty beverage containers in the fridge (seriously, the trash can is RIGHT there!  Use it.)

–          I have to clean up kitty puke.  He usually handled that when he was there, even though it’s my cat.

–          I can cut my hair.  I was keeping it long, because he liked long hair (I mean I like my hair long, too, but with the warm weather coming, I want to cut it as short as I can while still pull it back in a ponytail.)

–          I’m not gonna have to worry about having to crank the A/C in the summer to accommodate another person.  Because I am always cold, I run the A/C at around 80 degrees and during the summer, it’s actually borderline hot in my apt.

–          I have to go out and get my own damn Starbucks coffee on weekends.  Him going out to get it and bring it home was an awful nice *perk*.  Damn.

–          I get the whole bed to spread out…but I miss the cuddling and he was a good cuddler.  Double damn.  I’m gonna need to find someone new to cuddle with.  Hmm, where to start?

–          And to end on a positive note, once I am ready to date again, I get to regale you all with more shit-tastic stories of my horrid fun dating life!  Lucky you!!!



  1. prettylittlereckless

    I like random posts. Sometimes they’re needed just to get everything out 🙂

    • Haha, yes, they are needed. Especially when random thoughts are just running rampart in your head looking for a way out.

  2. I’m sorry to hear about you and St. Elmo. I promise promise promise you are going to be OK. Be sure to focus on these positive random things…it really helps. Take care.

    • Thanks, Catherine! I appreciate it. xoxo

  3. You know, I’m pretty sure this is how most of us (women at least) think most of the time – all over the place. I’m glad you’re seeing positive things, and I’m VERY glad you’re eating again. Hang in there, chica. 🙂

    • My head is a constant jumble of thoughts – it’s maddening.

      Now that I am sorta eating, I need to start whipping up some of the delicious meals you post…

  4. The ability to digest dairy… always an important concern following a break up. 🙂 You’re doing great. Remember that it’s OK to be angry (pissed, even), sad, hopeless, and then change your mind. Notice: only 3 red comments. I see progress!

    • Ice cream…yes, lactose tolerance is very important. My emotions have touched on all of those that you mentioned. Add in disbelief, fear, frustration, relief. And I did notice that my “positives” outnumbered my “negatives”. Progress is slow, but it’s a coming.

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