time is our friend sometimes

How do you mend a broken heart?

I could feed it chocolate and cheese, but I’m not hungry.  Correction, I sometimes feel hungry, but food has lost all appeal and I don’t want anything to do with it.  I force myself to eat apples and oranges at work.  I do like to drink coffee, thank g*d, because it helps when sleep is so elusive.  I’ve lost 7 pounds so far.  My jeans are no longer tight.  I see ribs (I know that is kinda sick, but I admit that I like seeing ribs on myself.  My sick issue, I know, and probably best saved for another post.)

I could drown it with alcohol.  But I’ll wind up a drunken, sappy, emotional mess (especially not having eaten anything).

Retail therapy?  Nah, I’m more interested in paying down my credit cards.  In fact, I need to return a dress I bought on that trip down to DC with St. Elmo.  I can’t see myself wearing it now.

I am going to try to put lots of energy into running.  The weather is warming up and Central Park will be calling my name.  I just hope that I will be able to regularly drag my sorry ass out of bed early in the morning.

The only tried and true thing that will mend it is time.  That’s what everyone is saying.  Damn that time!  Sometimes it passes too quickly (as in “ how the hell am I almost 36 already??”) and other times, not fast enough (“where the hell is the weekend??”).

This blog, and all of you, will help me immensely.  The support in this blogosphere is incredible.  Thank you for that.  I started this blog to get over a broken heart.  I think it will help me once again.

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5 Comments

  1. Alcohol solves everything and nothing at the same time. I say keep up the running, but don’t let your time running be spent thinking about some dickhead who hurt you. BTW, there is nothing wrong with sitting down for a week or month and wallowing in your own misery, it’s normal, and when you are ready, you will emerge again ready to face the world. Not saying ready to date, but at least able to not look back and cry anymore. I personally find it easier to replace my sadness with anger and dreams of kicking them all in the balls and kicking the asses of all the men who are married or taken and hit on me now. It made me start smiling again. But I have a vivid imagination and may get carried away sometimes. Just ignore me if that isn’t your thing… ;-P

  2. I’m just catching up on blogs, and I am so sad for you! I feel the same way, that love just isn’t in the cards for me. I am so sorry you are going through this! I hope that the pain doesn’t last too long for you.

    • Thanks, Esme. It’s just tiring to be shit on so many times. I’m lucky that I have a really strong network around me (family, friends, bloggers) that really keep me going. Love just doesn’t seem like it will ever be a tangible thing for me. I know I’ll bounce back and the sadness and pain will fade. It’s just going to be really tough to be open and willing to try and date again.

  3. you’re so right, blogging helps immensely. i dont know what i would of done with out the support of my readers xoxoxo

    time is a real biatch…. i feel things are so slow…so horribly slow.

    • This is my outlet, my therapy. I probably should go see a therapist, but this seems to help a lot. It’s a lot easier for me to organize my thoughts in writing and say the things that I can’t say in person.

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