telling it like it is
There have been a few instances lately where I’ve taken the road of telling it the way it is…however *mean* or *in your face* that may be.
When friends are going through a rough spot – whether it’s with work or family or friends or other personal relationship – I will always listen first. But I’ve definitely gotten to the point where I won’t coddle them for too long. There’s a narrow window when I will empathize and nod my head and agree with them that “life blows”, but then I can turn on a dime and tell them to “suck it up”, “move on”, “get over it”.
I’ve blogged about this before. When I was smack in the midst of the CDB break-up fiasco, I had plenty of people to nod their heads and agree with me about how much of a douchebag he is. But there were others who were telling me “well, yeah, that sucks. You need to face the facts, get your shit back together and get over it.”
Just today, a good friend was obsessing over canceled plans with a new-ish boy. In her pretty, but warped little head, she started to think “what if he doesn’t like me?” Seriously???? Did the phone calls and multiple texts every day not signal to you that he is interested? Now, she knows that she is neurotic about things like this. She openly fesses up to it and in an email told me to “lean across the table and slap her”. So, I email slapped her and told her to stop being ridiculous.
A fellow blogger (yes, sweetie, I’m talking about you) has found herself in the middle of a horrendous shit storm involving a man she fell in love with and his psycho-Ex/current/whatever. The situation has evolved into something that she seriously needs to remove herself from, no matter what. There shouldn’t be any contact to/from him. She needs to cut all ties, because it’s an awful scenario.
In the past, I’ve listened to friends go on and on about their woes. These days, perhaps due to my increasing crankiness, I am less inclined to let someone drone on about problems. Life sucks. That’s a fact. We all have our issues. No one is immune to life’s suckiness. We just learn to better adapt to it. Merely bitching about it, while fun, doesn’t solve the problem. It just creates stress from dwelling on the situation and causes agita and indigestion.
It’s great to recognize a problem or issue. That is the important first step. But it is equally important to figure out how to change/fix the problem and then actually do it. If all I hear is “wah wah wah” about something, but you’re not attempting to fix, it, than I immediately will start to tune you out. I will no longer be receptive to listening to it. If someone is looking for advice and I give it and they don’t follow it (or any advice), that’s fine. But I no longer want to hear about it.
I want to listen to your problem. But I also want to know you are doing something to address it.
Life’s a bitch and frankly, so am I (sometimes).