just smile, smile, smile, be happy
Before online dating, how did I meet all the guys I dated? When I was out drunk at bars? Yes, yes, and hell yes. Introduced through friends? Yes. On the subway (or in my case the London Underground)? Yes. During a snowball fight? Yes. At a party? Yes. At work? Mayyyyyybbbbeeeee (I’m neither confirming nor denying in case a coworker comes across this).
I’m really bad at the single’s game. I see a hot guy and if I’m not liquored up and feeling bold, I don’t know what to do. Here are some situations I have been in recently and didn’t do a darn thing that would be in my benefit:
Today I was at Cosi picking up lunch. As I’m walking up to the line to pay, I notice a guy across the place who looks cute. As I’m leaving I had to pass him. Totally made and held eye contact as I passed. Did I do anything? No. Say “hello”? No. Wink? No. Slip him my number? No. Smile? No, nothing. Just kept walking in my usual fast manner and in seconds was out the door. But then again, neither did he. As I was walking back to the office, I was kicking myself because I should have at least smiled. Jeez, I always walk around with such a sourpuss “don’t eff with me” scowl on my face. Yes, people, I’m talking all the time if I’m not engaged in conversation with someone. I’d be afraid to talk to me if I saw me in my every day life. I will say that the “eff off and drop dead” scowl is very effective at keeping the crazies, and this city is chock full of them, at bay.
The other day I was on the crosstown bus on my way home. A guy sits down next to me to my left. I was playing on my phone, so wasn’t paying any attention, but kind of peripherally noticed that he might be cute. Since he was directly next to me, I thought it would be awkward to just turn and look at him to confirm cuteness. Naturally, I emailed a friend “hey, I’m on the bus. I think the guy sitting next to me is cute.” Now what did I think my friend could do for me? I still haven’t looked at him, but I did check for a ring. No ring. Good. I feign looking at what the current stop is by first looking all the way to the right and then all the way to the left. Umm, score, he’s a hottie. But a bit younger than me. By now I am emailing back and forth to my friend all the while trying to shield the screen of the iphone from the guy so he can’t see what I’m typing. Next thing I know, it’s my stop. I get up and get off without so much as a Hello or even a smile. I’m such a dumbass.
One time I was running in Central Park and had stopped at the water fountains at Engineer’s Gate. It’s a pretty popular entrance to the park and there are always tons of people standing around getting water, stretching, resting, etc. This hot guy with a dog comes up to me to ask for the time. I tell him and immediately run off. What?! Running is important to me, but not that important. It’s not like I was in serious training for something and worried about times and resting too long. Whatever. Again, I’m such a dumbass.
I definitely need to figure out how to appear more approachable and walk around without the scowl. I need to smile if I make eye contact with a hottie. I’m going to give it a try this week. Every time I establish eye contact with good looking guy, I’m going to smile as if I’m posing for picture. I usually find it close to impossible to not smile for a picture. It’s a reflex. Hopefully, I’ll get a smile back.