if it’s over, it’s over, for realz

*I first started drafting this about a week ago, but never got around to posting.

Perusing the various posts that are tagged as “dating”, I’ve seen many about how to get your ex back.  Now I am not one to talk about why you should or should not get back together with your ex – I went through two break-ups and reconciliations with the CDB.  However, each time it was not me fighting or wooing him back.  I don’t think we would have gotten back together those two times had he not been like “I want to see you, I miss you”.  I was such a sucker and hope I won’t ever be again.

In my newly enlightened state of *reality*, I can’t say that in the future, if a relationship ends for whatever reason, I would want to go back to it.  I don’t think that I would want to take an ex back.  I surely don’t think I would go out of my way to try to “win him back.”  There’s usually a good reason why you broke up in the first place.  You can’t ignore those reasons or think they’ll change.  I say this now, being single and far from being in a relationship.

Perhaps it’s just a sign of my age and the fact that maybe, just maybe, I am *growing up*?  I’m sure it’s definitely a sign of being screwed over and the residual bitterness I feel (and hope will go away.  Scat!  I don’t want you!).  I’m sure it’s also me becoming more jaded and cautious as each ex-boyfriend gets filed away in the ever expanding file cabinet of “failed relationships”.

I ask of all you reading this, that if I go through a break-up and even consider the idea of going back to him or wanting him back, you will all plan an intervention.  Stop me, make me think about it, really think about it, and then talk me out of it.  Okay?

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11 Comments

  1. I’ll stop you if you stop me. Why do we want what we know is bad for us? Is it really better than being alone? This week I say a big fat YES. Then again, I’ve been invited to a number of both bridal and baby showers of people who are 10-15 years younger than me. Yup, I’m bitter.

    A truly difficult part of a break up and moving on is that the next guy has to work ridiculously hard because we are indeed jaded. So when the relationship ends, it’s doubly traumatic and we just can’t go through the search process again. That’s why God invented Ben & Jerry’s.

    • We’ll definitely stop one another, cause it’s so not good for us! And my fave Ben & Jerry’s is Phish Food.

  2. Ahem. I think it’s time to reference Demotivators again….

    http://www.despair.com/persistence.html

    🙂

    • those are freakin’ hysterical!

  3. Yeah, I love the persistence once. So succinct. And, yet, so appropriate.

  4. Done and done. Relationship intervention. As long as you do the same for me 🙂

  5. I am more of a hi-jack intervention kind of guy…in a white van.

    • Thanks, that’s probably what I need, however, a good smack upside the head will work as well with a “snap out of it!” – I’ve got Cher on the brain, those damn VMAs.

  6. I give them one week for every month we were together to win me back… if they are someone I’d even remotely consider taking back…well hell, I always let the bastards try, even if I have no intention, I like watching them squirm before I squash all hope!

    • There’s nothing wrong with letting them try. I just don’t want to let them be successful at it! Watching them squirm is the fun part. But I just need to say “no” “nope” “no way” and then finally “to piss off”

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