online dating and the crazies using it

There is a post on one of my favorite websites, gawker.com, titled Online dating is nothing but losers like you“.  The post itself is meh, but it’s the comments that are pretty funny.

“Part of what’s screwing online dating – not that it was all that great to begin with – is all these bat shit crazy bloggers. Reading them made me officially tie my online dating tubes. It seems to have made a slew of women completely insane.

I feel bad for the suckers who take these women out not realizing that every move they make, every word they say and every message they send is being published on the internet.”

I love this.  Fellow dating bloggers rejoice!  We’re getting our recognition for being bat shit crazy.  Yes, we meet some fascinating (in either the good or bad sense) people online.  And hell yes, we are going to talk about them!  What good are these stories if we can’t share them??

“I met my husband the old fashioned way–drop dead drunk in a bar.”

I’ve tried this tactic to no long-term positive results (though a lot of fun sometimes)…all through my twenties.  Didn’t work then when it might have passed as cute.  Somehow, I don’t think that my falling down drunk ass in a bar is going to seem anything but sad if it happened today. 

“The online dating world, of which I am longer a part, is a freak show beyond description. What is needed are good old-fashioned church socials where the older married ladies hook you up with someone who’d be good for you. But without the church part.”

Now if only all the older ladies who ask me “why are you still single?” (which I LOVE, by the way) would put money where their mouths are and hook a sistah up – with whichever intelligent, attractive eligible bachelor she knows.  

“I had been out of the dating scene for the last 6 years and decided to signed up for Eharmony. Big mistake! I went on one date where the guy had a previous Eharmony date only 2 hours prior, then another date where the guy said there are a ton of women on this site. I happen to live in a region where women out number the men on these dating sites.

What I didn’t like about this site is that it takes you through a series of questions (Eharmony chooses them for you) after they are answered, then you send your likes/dislikes list (again a set list from Eharmony) then you get his back, then another set of questions to send again (more questions Eharmony suggests but you can create your own as well). When that’s over and you’re waiting for him to send you an email through the site. When he sends the email, all that’s written is “Hello, how are you?” At this point, I’m totally dumbfounded as I expected a bit more in his email and answer “Fine, and you?”.

Then this whole process starts over again and again and again and again and again.”

This is the main reason that I did not do eHarmony.  Too many back and forth questions.  Unfortunately, I am someone who wants immediate results for most things (ie, seeing a profile, pics, actual emails, face to face mtgs). 

“My best friend from college, after three children and two torrid aftershocks from the affairs of her husband, decided to try an online dating service.

Second date, met a man who had a) never been married, b) was extremely straight and excellent in bed, and c) adores her and her children. Oh, and since he never married, saved all his income and basically lived well under his monthly salary — has a shitload of money stashed away for his early retirement.

So while her former husband sits at home wondering what became of his two million dollars “he” saved during “his” marriage, she’s out and about… happily travelling and seeing the world with one of those guys who finally decided that it IS time to settle down.

*sigh*

And I get the fat, naked guy on webcam saying… “Oh hai, u horny?””

I think this same fat, naked webcam guy has tried to reach me a few times.  Gross.  I just vomited a little in my mouth. 

“I think online dating is great for expanding the pool of people you meet, thereby increasing the likelihood you’ll find someone you like. I seriously think that dating is all about luck, finding the right (or right enough) person at the right time.

I might be biased because I met my husband on match.com, because I know that there’s probably no way we would have met without it. My single friends who have been online dating for years ask me for “tricks and tips”, and I honestly have nothing- it’s just pure, simple dumb luck. So sure, there’s people who lie about shit in their profiles, but people lie in real life too. Online dating isn’t a magic bullet, it just casts a wider net, so theoretically you are more likely to meet someone you like.”

This gives me some hope that this online dating thing produces good results, as opposed to just funny stories that all of us bat shit crazies can blog about the day after!

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5 Comments

  1. Hahaha! Then I am a proud bat shit crazy blogger because these crazies online make for some good material! Great post.

  2. kimberleyjo

    haha I read this today on my twitter… I am beginning to give up hope? It’s not like I can’t meet people in the “real world”… I meet plenty of those… and they are still as douchey as the guys on the internet… I think I’m just going to start dating Jesus.

  3. Oh, gee, sorry, sorry.

    *puts clothes back on*

    Oh hai, honey. U horny?

    There, is that better?

    😉

    • LOL. Oh man, yes, that’s better. ha!

  4. ““Part of what’s screwing online dating – not that it was all that great to begin with – is all these bat shit crazy bloggers. Reading them made me officially tie my online dating tubes. It seems to have made a slew of women completely insane. ”

    Um…. who told about my blog? This must be another of my ex’s from my online dating time… I bet he did the “slow fade out”, which in turn made me insane, and then he called me crazy when it was him that was the asshole! Yup… and WE’RE batshit crazy? uh huh… jerks

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