date with bachelor #2 post-mortem

We’ll call him St. Elmo because he shares the same first name with one of its stars and St. Elmo’s Fire is a kick ass movie.

I met St. Elmo outside Bryant Park at 6:30PM.  He was there first and luckily when I walked up to the meeting point, he was able to recognize me as I scanned the many many people standing around.  When I made eye contact with him, he walked over.  He suggested grabbing some coffee and sitting in the park.  This is a first for me…not drinking alcohol on a first date.  Really.  I don’t think I can ever recall going out with a guy for the first time as an adult and not imbibing.  But I’m totally cool with it.

First thing I notice about St. Elmo is he’s very cute and I’m not disappointed at all by his looks.  Plus, he’s tall and didn’t lie about that.

The conversation was perfectly fine.  It flowed freely and we talked about bit about many topics.  One of the main topics is running, of course.  By 8PM, he’s asking me if I’m going to walk home (as I mentioned that I often do) and I’m understanding that the date is now over.  I tell him that I’m going to walk toward Grand Central and probably hop the subway from there and we part on the corner we met.

We tell each other it was nice to meet one another and wish each other good weekends.  But he made no indication that he wanted to see me again.  Now I am not some spectacularly gorgeous person whose wit and intelligence surpass all, but I’ve never had a first date with a guy who didn’t want a second date.  Hmmm.  Another first, but it is humbling.  And I’m okay with it.  But I would actually like to see him again.  And he passed the litmus test – I could picture myself kissing him 🙂

As I was walking toward Grand Central, I check my phone and see a text from my friend sent at 7:30 who was supposed to meet another friend for dinner.  But their dinner plans were canceled and she is at Pershing Square (right outside GC) with a client.  I text back that I am on my way.  She wraps up with the client and we head to Campbell Apartment bar in GC for a drink.

When I got home around 10:45, I emailed St. Elmo thanking him for the coffee and blah blah blah, have a nice long weekend.  He responded this morning, saying much of the same.  Nice meeting you, blah blah blah.  But nothing like, “hey, would like to see you again, if you’d like”.  So I suppose at this point, I’ll just email back and give him my personal email and tell him to let me know if he’d like to hang out again sometime and leave it at that.  If he does nothing with it, oh well, move on to the next.



  1. I wouldn’t even bother to email him back. It sucks when this happens. It’s happened to me a few times.

    And though I’m always disappointed that a guy I find date-able isn’t thinking the same about me, I just say to myself: “To each his own” and then move on to the next. Because there is someone out there that will think you are perfect for him – so why waste time on this dude?

  2. It’s because there was no liquor! Just say no to the coffee date. It’s a romance killer.

  3. Happens to me too! It’s so aggravating when you think everything went well but get no feedback from the guy. I tend to agree with agirlinsearch (in my head, that is) but my heart would form exactly the same plan you end your post with…and my fingers generally (for good or ill) follow my heart and not my head…LOL!

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