another one on the way to biting the dust

It has been almost four weeks since I saw “Jeff.”  It has been nearly two weeks since I’ve heard from him.  This is all not cool with me.

Granted, he may be freaked out for various reasons.  When we got back in touch in July, it was right after I found out about the douche bag.  He met me and my friend out at a bar and I explained everything that happened with DB.  It was also revealed that I was with DB for 2.5 years on and off and Jeff might have figured it out that he was always just my rebound guy during my off times with DB.  Dealing with those two nuggets of information could and probably should freak any guy out.  Especially if he might have an interest in you.

However…for the two and a half weeks following the big revelations, he pushed to see me.  Then we finally saw each other July 24th.  I stayed over at his place.  I fully admit that I was a bit restrained in my interactions with him, but my head was still pretty fucked up.  I left in the morning (accidentally leaving my jewelry there) and thought things were fine.

The next weekend, I invited him out to sit in the park with some friends, but he declined saying he had work to do.  I don’t doubt this as I know that corporate attorneys work a ton – I have many friends that are corporate lawyers.  I invited him out to a mutual friends bday, he was out of town.  OK.  We joked around about how he still has my jewelry and that he “not only has it, but has been wearing it and hopes I don’t mind” and “that he’ll be in touch with me when he gets back to figure out when to give it to me.”  That was well over a week ago.

I emailed him Monday, just saying “hey, how’s it going?”  Nothing.  No response.  Now I’m getting pissed and you all know what happens when I get pissed 🙂

I get that he may be freaked out, but come on, he knows that all I want is the truth at all times.  If he thinks that my head is still messed up and that scares him, then he just needs to tell me that and I can tell him otherwise or agree.  If he doesn’t want to see me anymore, for whatever reason, then tell me.  It’s all becoming a little too frustrating for me to deal with.

If I don’t hear anything from him in the next few days, then I’m so done with him.  I’ll just tell him to mail me my stuff or leave it with his doorman.  I don’t have the time or patience for this bullshit.



  1. I’m sorry to hear this – I’m the same way you are. I get incredibly frustrated and over it really fast. I loaned this guy one of my favorite books (it was a gift to me from someone very important to me) and then he disappeared on me. I was soooo pissed about the book!! I’m still in the process of trying to get it back … we’ll see. Either way, my dating lesson learned is never loan someone something important to you and the lesson I learned from your story is never leave anything important to you over at someone’s house! haha 🙂

    Good luck getting your stuff back, and I hope there’s a good reason for his MIAness.

  2. I have/had a “rebound”/”bootycall” guy that I have been seeing off and on for seven (!!) years. Obviously not sexually when I was in a relationship, but we’d get together for a beer to catch up.

    But I will say, the one time I totally fell for him, it was a disaster…for me. But then I realized that he’s just the “in-between” guy. We’re good friends and care about each other (he offered to come over and help me recently when I thought I had a gas leak) but it’s never going to be more than friends (with occasional benefits.)

    I’m sure you’ll get your jewelry back, especially if he was joking with you about wearing it. I think if you back off a little, he’ll call to make a plan. It usually works.

  3. Thanks, you guys. I understand if he’s freaked and I might, possibly, probably am blowing this out of proportion. He could be on vacation somewhere – I don’t know. That’s why I will give it a bit more time and if still nothing, then ask him to get me my jewelry somehow. I don’t want to think he’s a jerk and I want to think he wouldn’t be since we know so many people in common. I’m not completely writing him off, but I do intend to tell him that this type of behavior isn’t cool with me. You don’t get to sleep with me and then blow me off. Not if you want that to happen ever again.

  4. Hey, okay. Since I did kinda call you out on KP’s blog, I feel like I owe you an explanation for why I’m so adamant about my opinions. So, let me tell you a personal story:

    Years ago, I had just gotten out of a five-year relationship. I decided that I wanted to date casually, so I got on The first girl I met, we went on three or four dates, then ended up sleeping together. Soon after, I started getting texts that said, “had a rough day at work, could use some snuggle time.”

    I freaked out. Whoa. She’s getting way too serious, and I’m just having fun here.

    I started blowing her off. I wouldn’t respond to her texts for a day. I’d be busy with work. I wouldn’t be feeling well. She eventually got the hint and stopped calling me.

    Not two months later, I was still in my “casual dating” phase. I met another girl. She seemed to like me. And… whoa, I found myself really liking her. I called her all the time. I was ecstatic every time she texted, and I would text back right away. She would call me every day, and I LOVED it. I would’ve happily spent all my free time with her.

    Ultimately, she lost interest in me (yeah, karma’s a bitch), and I was devastated. But that’s not the point.

    The point is…. I realized that, hey, if I really like the girl, I’m not gonna freak out because she seems to like me, too. If anything, I’m gonna be excited to hear her voice.

    So, if I freak out, if I start worrying that she’s too “into me,” then invariably, that’s because I’m not that into her.

    And… that’s why I’m so adamant when I say, “he’s just not that into you.” It comes from personal experience.

    But, of course, every guy is different. So… yeah, take what I say with a grain of salt….


  1. 35 was a really bad *love* year « adventures in babysitting…men

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