the devil on my shoulder made me do it
So, I have spend endless hours catching many friends up to the John shit show. Awhile ago, during one such session over many bottles of wine, we came up with a plan.
The plan is to send a baby gift to John’s wife. I found a great onesie that says “My Auntie Rocks”. My idea is to take fabric paint and add in “Amy D” so it says “My Auntie Amy D Rocks”. Mature? Not at all! And the point is to not hurt John’s wife, but just make him extremely uncomfortable. See, the note with the gift would merely say “Ashley, Good Luck to you and the baby. Best, Amy D (not John’s sister)”. John actually has an older sister named Amy, so it’s important that Ashley doesn’t think it is from her. But when she gets the gift, she will be none the wiser about who Amy D is and when she asks her dear husband, he’ll crap himself a little, then he’ll be forced to lie and say “oh, she’s an old friend”. But he’ll squirm like crazy knowing that I’ve gained access to his wife.
Let him live in fear that I could at any time tell her everything. I won’t. It’s not my job. But let him think that I could and hope it makes his life miserable. He deserves it after all his lies.